Britains most senior muslim police officer (someone actually has a league table?), Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur, has submitted plans to the Attorney General, Lord Goldsmith, to make flag burning a crime.

This is to help the police deal with violent protests apparently.  I thought waving burning rags in a crowd of people was something the police could already arrest you over – reckless endangerment or something like that.

Also included in the plan is a proposal to make it illegal to cover your face during a protest so you can’t avoid police scrutiny.  Muslim women will be exempt of course and will be able to wear a veil over their face whilst inciting murder of English people on the streets of London.

Ghaffur got in a spot of bother a couple of months ago when he said that the new anti-terror laws were criminalising muslim communities.  Almost right, it criminalises muslim terrorists.  Unless he’s suggesting that all muslims are terrorists of course.  I don’t think they are but he is a policeman and a muslim so he’d have a better idea than me.

So, not only will I be banned from burning a flag if I choose to do so but if I were to go on a protest march I wouldn’t be allowed to cover my face to remain anonymous but a muslim woman (or disguised male suicide bomber) will be allowed to wear a veil or a burkha because of her (or his) religion.

Ok, I’m starting a new religion.  It’s called Wonkism and Wonkites (followers of Wonkism) worship St George.  It is against my newly-acquired religion to show my face when I’m protesting and my religion requires me to slap anyone who denies me my religious rights in the face with a rotting kipper.  It is also against my religion to pay taxes and use metric measurements.

Let’s pray:

Our patron, who art in England, St George be thy name, thy kingdom come, England will become, devolved as it is in Scotland.
Give us this day a hospital bed, and forgive those who discriminate against us.
Break us not into regions, but deliver us from Labour.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.
England.

Anyone else want to join? 😉