The Liebour Party, having failed to secure a workable majority in the Welsh Assembly elections, have been forced to form a coalition government with Welsh nationalist party, Plaid Cymru.

This is a blow to Liebour who have lost control of Scotland after 50 years to the Scottish nationalists and made all the worse because Plaid actually wanted to go into a coalition with the Illiberal Dipshits but they couldn’t get their act together so they plumped for Liebour as their second choice.

Plaid leader, Ieuan Wyn Jones, will become deputy First Minister whilst Welsh Liebour leader, Rhodri Morgan, will stay as First Minister. This is the first time Plaid have been in government in its 82 year history and the first time that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have all had a nationalist government.

Robert Mugabe, the batshit dictator of Zimbabwe, has extended his policy of price-fixing to steminflation and threatened to sieze any business that doesn’t comply.

Mugabe claims that it is profiteering by private enterprise that is responsible for the official 4,500% rate of inflation in Zimbabwe (which most independent financial institutions put at near 9,000%) and not the fact that whenever the Zimbabwean government runs out of money, it just prints some more.

Many businessmen said that they would simply cut or stop production rather than produce goods at a loss prompting the Mugabe to threaten to steal sieze any business that doesn’t comply.

The price-cuts started on essential items such as bread, meat and other foodstuffs and were extended to other items such as consumer goods, mobile phone call charges, air fares and car spares. The price cuts have now been extended to fuel which is already in short supply. As a result, shops have sold out of essential items, mobile phone networks are too busy to route calls and petrol stations are closing down.

A few years ago, Zimbabwe was a net producer of food and was one of the strongest economies on the continent. Zimbabwe was known as the Bread Basket of Africa. Then Mugabe siezed white-owned farms, divided them up into too-small plots and gave them to black farm workers who don’t know how to run a farm. As a result, Zimbabwe’s farms can no longer support the population and foreign investment has all but stopped with the exception of the Chinese who are trying to establish Zimbabwe as a client state in Africa. One of Mugabe’s other bright ideas – announced a couple of weeks ago – is to sieze any foreign-owned business that isn’t at least 50% owned by a black Zimbabwean. This includes Barclays Bank and a couple of huge mining companies, basically all that is left of western foreign investment.

The Goblin King has made it known that to receive the favour of His Twattiness, all public buildings and homes and businesses in Britain must fly the British flag.

All buildings in Britain that aren’t in Scotland of course. Or Wales. Or Northern Ireland. Oh yes, nearly forgot – not the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man either.

Let me just make this absolutely clear Mr Brown. I will NOT be flying your flag from my house. Furthermore, if my local council starts putting up British flags on public buildings in my home town, I will make their life hell. The council headquarters here already has a union flag, the council’s flag, and that dirty, filthy rag of the European Federation flying from the roof and unless the British flag is accompanied on every public building by the English flag I won’t be happy. We don’t want your faux-Britishness and no matter how many times you tell me I’m British, I will always be English and my flag is the Cross of St George. The only time I want to see a union flag flying from the flagpole of a public building is if it’s at half mast with the Cross of St George flying above it.

The smoking ban starts today in England – the last part of the UK to get a smoking ban.

From today, smoking in enclosed public places, workplaces and even company cars will be illegal and punishable by an illegal on-the-spot fine.

My employer has gone further than necessary and banned smoking anywhere on the premises, including the car park.

The smoking ban coming into effect today is only a partial ban, not the full smoking ban they enjoy everywhere else in the UK thanks to the interference of a Scottish MP who, despite the fact it doesn’t affect his constituents who already have a full smoking ban, decided to introduce an amendment to have the English ban watered down.