At first I thought this swine flu thing was just scaremongering by the media but now I realise that it’s serious – probably more serious than even the Daily Mail could imagine.
Check your spam folder for online pharmacy emails and order in as much Tamiflu as you can lay your hands on. Get down to your local hardware store and buy all their stocks of face masks.
As if Jonah talking about swine flu wasn’t dangerous enough, this is almost exactly the same thing he said as the recession kicked in and now we’re being told that we’re probably going to be hit the hardest.
We’re doooooooooooooomed.
Being serious for a moment, there are very few cases of swine flu and no deaths outside of Mexico and the British government reckons it has enough flu medication to treat 30m people. Four UK airlines have stopped flying to Mexico, two are flying holidaymakers out of Mexico but British Airways is still flying to Mexico City 4 times a week. Banning travel to and from Mexico for a bit might help prevent the spread of swine flu, as would banning anyone who’s recently been to Mexico from coming into the country. The technology is there at all ports, it is possible to enforce such a ban if one was ordered.
On a number of occassions recently I have speculated that El Gordo would cancel the election next year “in the interests of national security”. He’s certainly got the ambition to do it, Liebour have passed legislation to allow it, all he needs is an excuse. The recession and a few carefully engineered riots about rampant unemployment would give him the excuse to declare a state of emergency. There’s an EU election in June which Liebour may finish as badly as fourth in. An outbreak of swine flu with an exaggerated statement on the risk of congregating in public places or unnecessary travel from some sock-puppet health quango would give him an excuse to postpone the EU elections in June.
I’m naturally cynical, especially where the one-eyed Scottish idiot is concerned, but is his obsessive lust for power so great that he would allow a highly infectious disease to spread around the country through inaction and criminally stupid policies just to stay in Downing Street? Is he that insane? I wouldn’t put it past him.
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Yes, he really is that insane. In fact, he probably has a few phials tucked away, “just in case.”
After watching his Youtube gurning – Be afraid. Be very afraid.
You need to speak to your local council, probably your environomental officers?
Up here, ours got crash courses in grave digging, choosing grave sites and also and most worringly, how a lot of normal law is suspended and this was 2 years ago for bird flu.
Be prepared for a mass culling. Remember the foot&mouth fiasco. 7million beasties culled with only a handful of reported cases.
“Be prepared for a mass culling. Remember the foot&mouth fiasco. 7million beasties culled with only a handful of reported cases.”
Or the Thatcherism epidemic where over 3 million working people were sacrificed to make the rich richer
You might be on to something there Wonko. Only it would probably be a little more subtle. They’d make the election an all-postal one – let’s face it, they’ve already got plenty of experience at rigging postal votes.
Remember to follow the govts medical advice – if you have symptoms – stay at home and some one will come out to help you — oh yeah , more like put a red cross on your door and stay at home and die .
I am a Fifer and have the accent ( make like Fraser in dad’s army ) we’re all DOOMED . doomed ay tell yew.
“let’s face it, they’ve already got plenty of experience at rigging postal votes.”
What you mean like this?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berkshire/8029979.stm
oops, wrong side……
Confirmation is likely late today for the first event of to human person shift of swine influenza in the United Kingdom. It is considered to be a friend of Lain and Dawn Askham, who were the inaugural confirmed victims in Great Britain and they got together after their come back from honeymoon in United Mexican States. at first the man was discharged but later on his symptoms carried on he was re examined and was determined to be suffering from Type A flu. Tests are still ongoing but are awaited to confirm swine influenza. This immediately takes the total number of swine influenza sufferers in GB to 8 -that’s 6 in England 2 in Scotland but hitherto no deaths.