Archive for wonkotsane

WINO Award #2

Hands up if you’re fed up of the bullshit propaganda about climate change.

Yep, thought so.  The left wing media is, of course, wholeheartedly behind the anthropogenic climate change cash cow, filling column inches with the latest story about retreating ice caps and rising temperatures and other such bullshit events that haven’t actually happened.

One island of sanity in the ocean of climate change madness is An Englishman’s Castle.  It’s one of the few blogs I read daily rather than cherry picking posts from the Witan syndicated feed and it’s such an excellent read that I’m awarding it the second ever WINO Award.

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An inexcusable insult

In the last century, millions of men and women gave up their lives to protect King, Queen and country.

Nearly a million “British” people died in World War 1 and nearly half a million in World War 2.  Whatever your views on war, these people should be remembered and buying and wearing a poppy in the run-up to Remembrance Sunday is the way that millions of people in this country do that.  The money raised in selling the poppies goes to the Royal British Legion which does a half decent job of getting the money to people who need it.

Millions of people have died in defence of this country and this is an insult.  Staff at Buckingham Palace warned not to wear poppies at state banquets in case they offend foreign ambassadors and even being threatened with the sack if they do – that is an inexcusable insult and the idiots at the Foreign Office who decided it was more important to make sure the German ambassador didn’t feel uncomfortable while he was eating his dinner than it is to remember the millions of people who’ve given their lives in defence of this country should be sent to a military field hospital in Afghanistan or Iraq where they can explain to the wounded soliders why palace staff shouldn’t wear poppies.

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Jacqui Smith: lying facist bitch

According to Jacqui Smith, we all want ID cards as soon as possible.

So many people stop her in the street and tell her they don’t want to wait to hand permanent control of their identity to the British government and have all their personal details and biometric data stored in a big database forever that she’s going to offer a pre-registration scheme to see just how much overwhelming support there is for them.

At first I thought she was getting confused with people saying “Fuck off Smith you fascist bitch” but when I thought about it some more I realised that she couldn’t be mishearing what people were saying and came to the conclusion that she’s actually just a lying fucking nazi bitch.
Something tells me that the number of retarded sheep pre-registering won’t be compared to the number signing the NØ2ID pledge saying they’d rather go to prison that submit to the database state which will eclipse the pre-registration figures but that won’t stop it being held up as proof that the public wants ID cards.

The Daily Mash, as always, has an entertaining take on the story: Public can’t wait to be truncheoned across the jaw, says Smith.

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Tough on crime …

In the last three months I’ve twice scared off some of the local feral youth when they’ve been trying to break into my neighbours garden at night and today someone has had a go at the same house in broad daylight!

Mrs Sane called me to tell me that the police had been round asking if she’d seen anything and they’re all over the place taking footprints in the mud and other exciting CSI-type stuff.  I’m exaggerating slightly but there’s a few police kicking about this afternoon.

What’s the world coming to when your home isn’t even safe in broad daylight?

Time to bolster the defences I think.  Anyone know where I can get one of those laser devices they used in Over the Hedge?

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Liebour retains Glenrothes

Liebour have won the by-election in Glenrothes, a bordering constituency to No Mandate Brown’s Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath constituency.

When John MacDougal died earlier this year (following a visit by Jonah Brown, incidently) Liebour had a majority of over 10,000.  Their majority has now been reduced to 6,737 with a swing to the SNP of 5%.

The Conswervatives will be celebrating a glorious victory – they managed to knock the Illiberal Dumocrats into fourth place which, in Scotland, is no mean feat for them.  UKIP will also be pleased that they didn’t come last.  One day both the Conswervatives and UKIP will realise that Scotland votes for eurofederalist, supposedly socialist parties and concentrate on England where they actually achieve some success.
This is a thoroughly disappointing result to any right thinking person – the SNP were widely expected to overturn Liebour’s majority like they have done the last couple of times and there was some speculation that El Gordo might even lose his job if Liebour lost yet another by-election in their celtic heartlands.  But sadly the people of Glenrothes decided to vote for a representative of the most sleaze-ridden, corrupt and illiberal British government this country has ever known.

Thanks for nothing Glenrothes.

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Like being savaged by a gerbil

Hazel Blears has attacked political bloggers for “fuel[ing] a culture of cynicism and pessimism” about politics.

Hazel love, you’re a fucking fruit loop.  It’s people like you, dear, that fuel a culture of cynicism and pessimism about politics.  People like you who not only ignore the people who elected you but actively work against their wishes and act all surprised when they don’t think you’re doing them a favour.  People like you who consistently and unswervingly vote with your party on every issue, regardless of what their constituents want.  People like you who have consistently voted against every proposal to make parliament transparent and in favour of every bill that curtails human rights and civil liberties.

Ms Blears, the wealthy middle class solicitor and MP on a ministers salary of nearly £139k, says that we need more working class MPs.  She said that we need more MPs earning almost £62k a year plus expenses that “know what it is to worry about the rent collector’s knock, or the fear of lay-off”.

She did betray the real reason for her attack on political bloggers though.

The most popular blogs are right-wing

Yes Hazel, they are.  It’s also because left wing politics is so incredibly dull and predictable.  Corruption, sleaze, spin, class jealousy and never-ending destructive “reform”.

Do us a favour Hazel, go and get your hair done or something and leave the savaging to people who know how to do it properly.

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Bank of England reduceds rates by 1.5%

The Bank of England has reduced the headline rate of interest by 1.5% to 3% – the lowest rate in 53 years, apparently.

All of which is good news to those people struggling to pay the stupid mortagages on their stupid houses that they can’t afford to pay.  Assuming, that is, that the banks pass on the full 1.5% rate cut and soon.

Dropping the interest rates is a proven way of giving the economy a nudge when it’s looking a bit poorly and if and when the rate is passed on it might just ease the decline into recession slightly.  It won’t stop it happening, it’s too late for that, but it will probably help.

Of course, it won’t do anything unless the banks pass the rate cut on to us plebs which raises an interesting question – will the Treasury use the golden shares it’s brought in the main high street banks to force a cut in the interest rates if they are unwilling to take the hit on their earnings?

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Better late than never

Been very busy this last few days, hence the light posting.  Anyhow, hope you all enjoyed your 5th of November and here’s a picture for you to enjoy …

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Farage rebuffs BNP pact offer

The BNP have offered UKIP an electoral pact for the next EU elections – an offer which has been refused in no uncertain terms.

UKIP member, Buster Mottram, took himself along to tonights National Executive Council (NEC) meeting and told Nigel Farage and the other NEC members that he had been talking to Nick Griffin, the leader of the BNP. He said that UKIP should take up an offer of an electoral pact from the BNP which would see the BNP agree not to field candidates in the south of England where UKIP has most support in return for UKIP not fielding candidates in the midlands and north of England where the BNP has support.

The offer was refused and Mottram was asked to leave the NEC meeting. He refused and became abusive. In the end, the police were called to remove him from the building.

Eric Edmunds, David Abbot and deputy treasurer and ex-officio NEC member, Martin Haslam, have been removed from the NEC for publically opposing the stated aims of the party.

Nigel Farage said:

There are no circumstances, no possible situations, in which we would even consider doing any type of deal with the BNP whatsoever.

I’m simply amazed that the BNP thought we would even consider such a thing, given that we are a non-racist, non-sectarian party.

The BNP regularly targets UKIP members with propaganda, often claiming to be from UKIP supporters. A BNP plot has been suspected for some time and this is unlikely to be the end of it. A group of around 40 UKIP members are well known troublemakers who have been actively working against the party leadership for some time. They are likely to try and get members to support the BNP pact to undermine Nigel Farage’s leadership.

Needless to say, a BNP pact would be suicidal for UKIP but these troublemakers are so single-minded in their vendetta against Farage that they would happily destroy the party they claim to support.

Petrol

The cheapest price I’ve seen for petrol this last couple of days has been Tesco at 94.9p/litre.

It’s still got to drop at least 20p/litre to get back to the price it was the last time oil was this cheap but spare a thought for our Dutch friends – the petrol station over the road from where we stayed in the Netherlands was stil €1.31/litre when we left.

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Wossy and Brand

So Russell Brand has been compelled to resign and Jonathan Ross has been suspended without pay for 3 months costing him an estimated £1.5m and for what?  Because some scrubber took advantage of a tasteless joke they made at her grandad’s expense.

I don’t imagine there are many grandfathers that want to hear about who their grandchild has slept with, especially when it’s a freak like Russell Brand and I expect he was probably quite upset about the messages Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand left on his answerphone.  But was it really worth a week of media hype, a with hunt, one person’s career and £1.5m in lost wages for another person?

So offended was Georgina Baillie, the granddaughter of Manuel out of Fawlty Towers, that she waited for at least a couple of days before selling details of her brief fling with Russell Brand to the papers.

Georgina – also known as “Voluptua” from the Satanic Sluts erotic dancing troupe – knew exactly what she was doing when she jumped on the bandwagon.  She’s a talentless nobody whose only hope of brief fame is to shag someone famous and wait for a career-wrecking opportunity to take advantage of.

I imagine Brand would be a little happier about the situation if she was a looker but not only is she a talentless nobody, she’s a chubby goth wannabe.

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I’m offski

I’m going to Holland today for a week or so for the christening of my god daughter, Emmy.  Well, she’s not my god daughter yet, obviously but by Sunday she will be.

Anyway, I won’t be blogging while I’m away but soemone will be keeping an eye on things so behave yourselves!

See you next week.

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It’s time to tighten those belts

The governer of the Bank of England has said that we might be entering into recession which is don’t panic the plebs code for “shit, how am I going to keep up the payments on my yacht”.  Of course we’re in a recession, we’ve known for months that it was starting and that things were only going to get worse.

All of which means we need to tighten our belts and when I say “we” I’m including the state.  We can’t afford to throw billions at banks but Alistair Darling has done it anyway.  But it might not end there – El Gordo told the world that they’d look at letting banks that have had taxpayers money paying dividends after 12 months after investors told him what a crap investment a bank that can’t pay dividends for a couple of years is.  But then Federal Europe poked its nose in and said that the banks can’t pay a dividend for 5 years otherwise they’ll class the money the banks have had as state aid and then the British government will get fined and the banks will have to pay the money back as a penalty for having been given the money before Federal Europe decided to move the goalposts.

But it’s not just bailing out banks by the Treasury that has got to stop – local authorities spend billions collectively and they need to do their bit to save cash as well.  There was a story in the Shropshire Star last night, next to the story about Daisy the cow going missing (don’t worry, she was later found in farmer Jones’ field), was a piece on Telford & Wrekin council’s accountants warning the council that they’re facing a funding gap fo a couple of big projects.

Telford & Wrekin have committed to part funding a rail freight terminal to the tune of £3.6m.  They intend to fund this by selling council-owned property.  It’s a lot of money but they can comfortably dispose of £3.6m worth of property, even though the property market has fallen on its arse.  But they’re also ploughing ahead with a massive “regeneration” programme from the Borough Towns Initiative which requires an investment from the council of £21.4m to be funded almost entirely from selling property and topped up with a load for about one and a half million.

You can see where this going can’t you?  Shame the council doesn’t seem to be able to.

There are several large house building projects under way in Telford and they’ve all scaled back building to almost nothing.  The council owns lots of land and property that’s ripe for housing or commercial development but the housing market has dried up and companies aren’t splashing out on new buildings because nobody has got any money.  To raise that kind of money through property and land disposal is going to mean selling a damn sight more than they would have done as little as three months ago and in doing so they will have sold assets at a cut down price that will, in all likelihood, return to their previous value in a year or two.

I’m all for regeneration and god knows some parts of Telford desperately need it.  I expect the promised regeneration of the estate I live on is all hanging on this Borough Towns Initiative money but we simply can’t afford it.  The previous Labour administration pioneered the scorched earth policy they seem to have adopted nationally increasing spending, cutting council tax and spending a third of the council’s cash reserves once they realised they were going to lose the next election.  There is very little money in the kitty, the economy is on its knees, the cost of borrowing is high and committing the council taxpayers of a borough with a mere 160,000 residents to £25m of spending on the day the governer of the Bank of England admits we’ve entered into recession is bordering on criminally irresponsible.

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Give me a fucking break

Sony has issued a worldwide recall of its new game, LittleBigPlanet, in case it offends muslims.

They were warned by a beta tester that one of the backing tracks, written by a Somali muslim, contains two phrases that are in the Koran and might be considered offensive by fundamentalist muslim nutjobs.

Sony release a game last year with a scene where you could shoot people up in Manchester cathedral but they didn’t withdraw the game after they got complaints.  Yet here they are, without even getting a complaint, withdrawing a game because it’s got some words out of the Koran in it.

Apparently putting bits of the Koran to music is offensive because they’re words of god.  But Jesus was supposed to have been one of Allah’s prophets so his words were the words of god as well so why is it that muslims don’t start jumping up and down when they puts Jesus’ words to music?  Or any part of the Old Testament which is one of the holy books of Islam?  Why?  Because it’s not offensive, it’s just an excuse to have a fucking whinge and take the piss.

Manzoor Moghal, of the Muslim Forum think-tank, explained that words from the Koran should not be set to music because the words are seen to have come directly from God.

He added: “We must compliment Sony for taking decisive action by withdrawing these games immediately, and releasing a version that is not offensive to Muslims.”

Yeah, well why don’t you just fuck off and live in a cave somewhere if you’re that bothered about being offended by the infidels?  If you don’t want to listen to the soundtrack of the game, don’t buy it.  If you hear it and it offends you then go somewhere where you won’t hear it.  Or alternatively, get a fucking life.

Someone remind me why we constantly pussyfoot around these people instead of depriving them of oxygen.

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Another day, another database

The British government is photographing every house from the air with infrared cameras and then knocking on doors and telling residents how much heat is escaping from their homes.

The figures will, of course, be stored in the obligatory database that will no doubt be linked to the council tax database at some point to tax people on their energy efficiency, or lack thereof.  It will, I imagine, eventually be linked into the new energy efficiency certificate database and the home information pack database and the electoral register database.

I can’t find any information about this online.  I’m particularly interested to know if this is happening outside of England because the environment is a devolved policy and the responsibility of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish governments in their own countries.  And, of course, I’m also keen to know who is doing the photography so I can tell them I don’t want my house photographed or anyone to visit me.

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Nokia 1984

nokia_c-u-n-t.pngI’m reading Taking Liberties again at the moment (well, not right at this moment, obviously) because it doesn’t hurt to remind yourself every now and again of the extent to which this bunch of twats in Westminster are destroying our rights and liberties.

So it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise to learn that the British government intends to pass a law forcing everyone who buys a mobile phone to provide formal identification which will be logged in the new communications database to tie up all your phone and email records.

Some reaction from the blogging world here, here and here.

Come the revolution, there’s not going to be enough hemp to go around.

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Three different letters, three different papers!

Well, what a bumper day this has been for letters.

First of all there’s this one in the Shropshire Star, in response to the council announcing that they’re going to put in average speed cameras on one of the safest roads, relatively speaking, in the borough:

Average speed trap not fair for motorists

Councillor Bentley wants average speed cameras for the A442 in Telford because they’re “fairer for motorists”? Fairer than what? There’s aren’t any speed cameras on the A442 in Telford and these new ones aren’t designed to be fair, they’re designed to catch more motorists than traditional speed cameras.

Will these speed cameras catch drivers that crawl down the outside lane at 40mph causing tailbacks and preventing other drivers from safely moving between lanes? Will it catch the drivers who undertake on cross-hatches?

Will it catch drivers who veer across from the outside lane at the last minute to exit the road? Will it catch drink drivers, erratic drivers, people weaving between lanes and cutting people up?

Like most drivers I sometimes break the speed limit and like most drivers I manage to do it without mowing down pedestrians or driving into other cars. The fact is, Telford & Wrekin Council changed the layout and speed limit of the A442 and made it more dangerous.

The number of accidents is down but the number of casualties is up which means that since they “improved” the road, the average accident is more serious and involves more people. Yet despite the best efforts of Telford & Wrekin Council, the A442 is still one of the safest roads of its type in the country.

Rather than install speed cameras at great expense to Telford taxpayers, the council should accept the fact that they made the A442 more dangerous by changing the lanes and reducing the speed limit and put it back to how it was a couple of years ago, complete with the 70mph speed limit.

Stuart Parr
Telford

Then there was this deliberately provocative letter in the Scotsman, in response to all the whinging letters about “Scottish banks being given to the English”:

If RBS and HBOS are Scottish banks and your average man on the street in Edinburgh is furious at losing “oor banks” to the English, can I respectfully suggest Scotland bails its own banks out?

It seems that when Scottish banks fail, the English end up paying to bail them out. It started with Darien and now the lion’s share of the £37 billion has gone to two Scottish banks.

We pay for your free prescriptions, your cancer treatments, and your free school meals and we pay to care for your elderly when they can’t look after themselves – all the things we supposedly can’t afford for ourselves. And what do we get in return? Anti-English bile and insulting, spurious claims that the Scottish oil industry, which English taxes paid for, even comes close to plugging the funding gap north of the Border.

If you want Scottish banks to remain Scottish then bail them out yourselves. If you don’t like the idea of relying on English money all the time, don’t take it. It’s not rocket science.

Stuart Parr
Telford, Shropshire

Finally, there’s this cheeky one in the First Post in response to some muppet who thinks the deputy editor of Prospect Magazine will be responsible for the Scots leaving the union because he upset them with an article about RBS:

Either Dave Bowen (above) has been on a really long holiday without access to news for the last decade or so or there is another country called Scotland that I was hitherto unaware of.

He says that if Scotland leaves the union then it will be because of “opinionated bigots” like Jonathan Ford. I wasn’t aware that Mr Ford had had such a long and illustrious career writing magazine articles dating back to 1934 when the seperatist Scottish National Party was launched.

I think that perhaps a generic dislike of the English and never buying into the whole “British” thing might have more to do with the Scots’ desire to leave the union. That and the belief that a few thousand barrels of oil will make Scotland the richest country this side of Saudi Arabia despite the gaping budget deficit the English plug every year.

And I did have a litle chuckle to myself when Mr Bowen said he wasn’t aware that being Scottish meant that you were automatically unsuitable for running anything more important than a chippy. If Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and the chief execs of HBOS and RBS are anything to go by then a chippy is probably asking a bit too much of them!

Stuart Parr

They should get a few people worked up. 🙂

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Only in America …

… could someone not only consider suing god but actually manage to get a judge to hear the case.

Senator Ernie Chambers of Nebraska brought a law suit against god to get a permanent injunction to prevent “death, destruction and terrorisation” caused by him.

He says he has done it to expose the ridiculous legal system in America that lets you sue anyone for anything and may appeal against the judge’s decision to thrown out the case because god has no address so papers can’t be served on him.  Senator Chambers says that the judge has acknowledged the existence of god which means they accept that he’s omnipotent and therefore knows about the law suit.

And this is supposed to be the most powerful country in the world?

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According to Telford Holiday Inn it’s illegal to take pictures of your own children

Mrs Sane and the offspring have been members of the leisure centre at the Holiday Inn in Telford for years, despite the considerable expense of being a member of a hotel leisure centre but maybe not for much longer.

As regular readers will know, we have very good Dutch friends who are godparents to out youngest child.  They naturally take an interest in how they’re getting on and were keen to know how they were getting on with their swimming so Mrs Sane took the camera to the swimming pool this afternoon and after making sure nobody but our children were in shot, she took a picture.

Perfectly reasonable, you would say.  There are no signs saying that photography is banned and only our own children were in shot so there shouldn’t be a problem right?  Wrong.  The leisure centre manager came out and told Mrs Sane that she wasn’t allowed to take pictures of the kids because it was illegal.

Naturally she questioned it and pointed out that they are her own children and they know who her children are on account of them being members there for years and my wife having worked there a couple of years ago.  But that, apparently, didn’t matter.  According to two managers there it is illegal to take pictures of children swimming – including your own children – and if Mrs Sane took the pictures to Tesco to be processed they would phone the Police and they would shut the hotel down.  She was unhappy, to say the least.

The duty manager was unable to tell me which law makes it illegal to take pictures of your own children.  He said it was the protection act.  The what protection act?  Just the protection act, apparently.  I asked him if he meant the Data Protection Act and he said yes.  I told him that hadn’t been amended since the 80’s and he told me to phone the Swimming Teachers Association.  So I did and they couldn’t tell me.  So I phoned the Police as it was them that would apparently close the hotel down.  The Police called me back and said that it wasn’t illegal, they certainly wouldn’t get involved in a complaint about someone taking pictures unless they were indecent and they had already phoned the manager of the hotel to tell him that.

Now, I can perfectly understand it being illegal to take pictures of someone elses child.  It’s a civil matter, not a criminal one, so the Police wouldn’t get involved but I would certainly challenge anyone who took pictures of my children without my consent.  However, this wasn’t the case and Mrs Sane offered to show the manager the pictures she took so he could see they were only pictures of her own children but he insisted that was illegal.  It isn’t illegal, it’s just hotel policy and if the manager had said that then Mrs Sane would have accepted it – the hotel is, after all, private property and if they want to ban photography they have as much right to do that as I do in my own house.  What they don’t have the right to do is misrepresent the law (a civil offence of fraudulent misrepresentation) and upset my wife.

Either the manager doesn’t know the law and shouldn’t be claiming that he does or he does know the law and wilfully misrepresented it.  Either way, I think there is a training opportunity somewhere.  Whether we go back to the hotel or not … well, we’ll have to sleep on that one – the hotel has our phone number, an apology is a good place to start.

Interestingly, this law/policy doesn’t seem to apply to the Holiday Inn website:

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Iceland now wants to join the EU!

The Bank of England is loaning £100m to the UK arm of Landsbanki so that it can repay its UK customers.

Landisbanki was nationalised by the Icelandic government last week and its UK arm closed down leaving customers here unable to access their money.

The Icelandic foreign minister has responded to the economic problems there – national debt at 500% of GDP and their top 3 banks nationalised – by saying that their long term goal is now to join the EU and the Euro and get bailed out by the European Central Bank.  No, that’s not a joke.  He said:

In the short term, out defence is co-operation with the International Monetary Fund and in the long term EU membership, adoption of the euro and backup from the European Central Bank.

So what he is, in fact, saying is that the English taxpayer will be bailing out one of their now state-owned banks and then bailing out the entire country if it joins the EU and becomes a net recipient of EU funding.  Not what I would call a good deal for the English taxpayer and if they do go down the route of joining the EU, not a good deal for Icelanders.  Their economy is up shit creek now but if they join the EU their paddles will be confiscated and given to a French farmer to use as kindling to set fire to his fields.  The Icelandic economy was, until recently, reliant on fishing, banking and services.  Banking is a no-brainer from now on, services are looking a bit dubious but fishing will at least let them feed themselves.  But not with an EU fishing quota though – they’ll end up throwing more back in the sea than they take home and that’s assuming the Spanish don’t get the quotas first like they did in our waters.

I wonder if the Icelanders have an equivalent phrase for “out of the frying pan and into the fire”.

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