Archive for Twat of the Week

Twat of the Week: Gordon Brown

That’s right, he’s done it again.  Despite a strong performance from Herman van Rumpy-Pumpy, El Gordo managed to maintain a convincing lead from early on in the voting and finished up with 62% of the vote in a head-to-head contest with the Emperor of the European Commission.

No Mandate Brown was nominated for using the death of his daughter for political advantage on the Piers Morgan show and that, combined with his general twattishness, seems to have secured the award.

Gordon Brown, you are officially a twat.  Again.

Twat of the Week Voting

A week late (still no reminders from the person who said he was going to remind me!) and here is the Twat of the Week voting for the last fortnight …

The first candidate, as ever, is El Presidente himself, Gordon “5 Pints” McBrown who was nominated by email for using his dead child for politicking.

The second candidate is Herman Van Rumpy-Pumpy, the President of the European Empire, for being an “Arrogant, unelected little mutant who acts like the heir to Caesar and Charlemagne. He looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book”.

A difficult choice between two very strong contestants this week.  On one hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Scottish europhile and on the other hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Belgian europhile.  It’s a tough one to call.

Twat of the Week: Gordon Brown

The results of the second Twat of the Week vote of 2010 are in and it’s a predictable win for the One Eyed Wonder of Wankistan who, despite being nominated for no reason other reason than the fact that he’s Gordon Brown, still managed to secure 39% of the vote.

Thanks god this isn’t a general election!

Twat of the Week 08-02-2010

Remember to get your nominations in for this week’s Twat of the Week.  Either post your nomination, with a one-liner to explain why, in the comments or send your nomination by email.

Twat of the Week Voting

I should have posted this yesterday but I forgot again!  Time to cast your votes for this week’s Twat of the Week …

The nominations are:

  • John Terry – for cheating pale French on pale English
  • Gordon Brown for being Gordon Brown
  • David Cameron: Wussy toff of a political leader. He hasn’t done much to differentiate Tories from Labour and has no coherent or strong policies. Wants to emulate Obama instead of Thatcher
  • George Papandreou: Won’t leave the Euro, despite the pain his countrymen are feeling. Just another Euro-socialist waiting for trouble.
  • News of the World for trying to undermine the best England captain we had in a long time in world cup year.
  • The Sports Minister [John Sutcliffe] for putting pressure on the FA to sack the best captain we had in a long time, but said nothing when John Presscott shagged his secretary.
  • Prof Phil Jones for contributing to global warming by having his bum on fire.

Voting will close lunchtime tomorrow.

Twat of the Week Nominations

Twat of the Week TrophyLast week’s Twat of the Week was very popular with the maximum number of votes being cast (there’s a limit of 50) in less than 2 days.

Send me your nominations for this week’s Twat of the Week award by Friday lunchtime, ready for voting on Saturday.

Either email me or leave a comment with your nomination.

A one-liner to explain your nomination would be useful.

Twat of the Week: Andrew Marr

I know I said voting for Twat of the Week would close tomorrow but I’ve got things to do in the morning and I’d probably forget.

The first Twat of the Week, as nominated and voted for by the public, is …

Andrew “There’s cruelty in Englishness” Marr!

Glaswegian Marr’s racial slur against the English in his Sunday morning politics programme last week has resulted in many complaints to the BBC and now the first Twat of the Week award of 2010.

Andrew Marr, you’re a racist, a second-rate presenter and – officially – a twat.

Twat of the Week 30-01-2010

Twat of the Week

A day later than intended but better late than never …

The poll will close Monday so get voting!

Back by popular demand …

… by one person who is going to keep reminding me to do it …

Twat of the Week

First person on the list is Andrew Marr.  Send any further nominations up until Thursday, the poll will go up on Friday.

Twat of the Week: Gordon Brown

The results of last weeks Twat of the Week Month so Far are in and the clear winner is No Mandate Brown with 65% of the vote.

totw-23-04-08.png

If you want to nominate somebody for this week’s Twat of the Week award, let me know.

Twat of the Year 2007: Results

The votes have been cast and there is a clear winner.

Al Gore did take an early lead but proved to be no match for No Mandate Brown who knocked him into second place on day 2.  Michael Martin and Al Gore were level pegging for the last couple of days but Gore took him by one vote, probably cast after seeing one of those bloody irritating global warming propaganda adverts on the telly.

Camoron rallied slightly yesterday but it was too little too late and he finds himself languishing in joint 4th with Batshit.

Paul Hughes, my pretendy Welshman colleague who asked so nicely to be included in the poll despite not being a public figure, put in a magnificent showing finishing 6th in front of Jacqui Smith, Traitor Bliar and Alistair Darling who, with zero votes, really needs to put in more effort.

The final results were as follows:

A triumphant Gordon Brown thanked the people of the Republic of New Britain when presented with his award this morning at breakfast.  “This shows that the people have trust in New Labour and the reforms being delivered by the Ministry of Truth” he said between mouthfuls of porridge.

Al Gore, who had flown in specially from the US on his private jet for the celebration breakfast, was gracious in defeat although he was heard to call the Prime Minister a “kilt wearing polar bear murderer” for leaving the bathroom light on.

David Camoron missed the award ceremony after getting knocked off his bike by one of Alistair Darling’s eyebrows at a set of traffic lights.

David Milliband wasn’t present at the breakfast and hasn’t been seen since going on a binge with Peter Hain on Thursday night.  The pair were last seen staggering down Clapham High Street with a traffic cone and a car park sign singing what appeared to be a song about hedgehogs to the tune of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”.

Also missing was Tony Bliar who declined the invitation as he had a conference call with Jesus at 8.30am followed by guitar lessons with Jimmy Hendrix but thanked the Prime Minister for his vote.

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Twat of the Year 2007: Reminder

Just a reminder to vote in the Twat of the Year 2008 poll. Details of the nominations are here.

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Twat of the Year 2007: Voting

I know we’re already nearly a fortnight into 2008 but I’ve been pretty busy (and perhaps a little distracted by Civillisation 4) so you’ll have to excuse the lateness of this poll.

The nominations are as follows:

  • Michael Martin
    Scottish MP and Leader of the House of Commons. Refused to allow the Justice for England march – a campaign for equal rights for English people – to pass by the House of Commons. Martin signed the Scottish Claim of Right and supported the establishment of a Scottish Parliament but wants to stop us from having the same in England. Also nominated for protecting the part time Scottish Defence Minister, Des Brown, in a recent debate on who pays his salary as Scotland Minister (his full time job)
  • Gordon Brown
    No explanation necessary
  • Tony Bliar
    Ditto
  • Alistair Darling
    Surely those eyebrows have got to be reason enough?
  • Al Gore
    Failed American presidential candidate turned global warming scammer. Partly responsible for the ridiculous “green” taxes and restrictions being imposed on us
  • David Milliband
    “Reichsfuhrer Gordo’s pimp”
  • Jacqui Smith
    Hardly had time to get the name changed on the door to the Home Secretary’s office befor she’d started introducing new illiberal and unconstitutional laws. Responsible for not honouring the English police pay deal agreed in arbitration and banning English prison officers from striking.
  • Dave Camoron
    Q: How do you know David Camoron is slagging off the English? A: He opens his mouth
  • Paul Hughes
    I know the rules are that only public figures can be nominated for an award but my work colleague sent an email saying “I want to nominate myself. I am a git to many people and I would love an award to prove that”. Well, seeing as he asked no nicely, it would be cruel to say no and besides I make the rules so I can break them. 😉

Please cast your vote usnig the poll on the right …

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Twat of the Year 2007: Nominations

Please make your nominations for the 2007 Twat of the Year.

Either post your nomination in the comments or email me.

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Twat of the Week nominations

I’m a bit late asking for nominations this week but I think it’s all a bit academic really because we all know No Mandate Brown is going to win it but in the interests of democracy …

Twat of the Week: Tony Bliar

It was a tough decision this week but there is a winner.

For 10 years now this man has screwed over England and the English people and today – on the day he resigns as Prime Minister – Tony Bliar has been voted as this weeks Twat of the Week.

I won’t go into a rant about him or his treacherous ways here, I’m saving that for later.

Tony Blair, you are this weeks Twat of the Week.

Twat of the Week voting

Please cast your vote for this weeks Twat of the Week award.

A reminder of the reasons for the nominations are as follows:

José Manuel Barroso
For the bare-faced audacity to lecture us on democracy whilst talking about the EU not-a-constitution that he and his fellow Federal Europe traitors are trying to force on us against our will.

Lord Adonis
No, my Lords. The noble Lord is simply out of sympathy with the concept of devolution—that may be the understatement of the afternoon. The fact is that we have a Scottish Parliament . The Executive, alas, are no longer controlled by own party, but they have a perfect right to take decisions of this kind.

Tony Bliar
There’s a million and one reasons but treason and treachery will do this time.

Gordon Brown
One word. TWAT!

Twat of the Week nominations

Please send me your Twat of the Week nominations …

Twat of the Week: Tony Bliar

With only days to go as Prime Minister, what better way to mark his anti-English, racist, illiberal, ineffectual leadership than with yet another Twat of the Week award?

 

Nobody else stood a chance really – Bliar is determined to mark the end of his leadership of the Disunited Kingdom as the single most hated figure in public office, there can be no other explanation.

 

 

 

 

Tony Bliar, you are this weeks Twat of the week.

Twat of the Week voting

Please cast your vote for this weeks Twat of the Week award.

The nominations are …

The winner will be announced some time Monday.

Twat of the Week nominations

Please send me your nominations for this weeks Twat of the Week award.