You find a well used and sharpened kitchen knife in an alleyway on a housing estate, take it home and report it to the police. They log it, give you a reference number, tell you to bag it up and take it to the police station.

When you get to the police station do they …

DUST FOR FINGERPRINTS OF KNOWN VIOLENT CRIMINALS?

NO

THROW IT IN THE KNIFE AMNESTY BIN?

YES

The answer, of course, is throw it in the knife amnesty bin. I mean, why would the police want to see if a known criminal has been walking around a housing estate with a knife? That could lead to all sorts of paperwork …

Is this really necessary? Cleaning products, toilet rolls, bleach, paracetamol, bottled water, pasta, rice … cleaned out at my local Asda and I’ve seen on social media that other supermarkets are in a similar state. Do people not wipe their noses or clean their houses usually?

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Dear Telford, get a grip.

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